Things Can Only Get Better...

So, things are FINALLY starting to get better!

I have one week left until I hand my dissertation in (SCARY!!!!) - of course I still have quite a bit to do on it! Its just my results and conclusion really though.

Next week, I have an interview at a GORGEOUS hotel near my Mum's - which is good, I'm dreading the interview but I'm excited at the same time. I sent my CV to the hotel and the GM (general manager) has asked to meet me, so not sure what I'm actually going to get offered.

In terms of leaving York, I am planning on leaving on 22nd May - depends on how this interview goes though. Things are in place for me to get my own flat (because my Mum decided she couldn't bear to have me under the same roof as her again ;) nah it's better this way!)

I'm not saying I'm spending the rest of my life in Berwick - I've had people comment that I've clearly just wasted the last 3 years at university if I'm just going to stay in Berwick and work in a hotel but you know what? I haven't wasted anything. I wanted to come to university and I did it. I had to prove to myself, among others, that I can do it. Berwick is just a pit stop on my journey, who knows where I may end up next? London? Paris? Ibiza? the Moon? I just don't know.

I'm also finally adjusting to the single life. I don't miss my ex. I miss the idea of having a boyfriend but not the actual person. We shared six amazing years together but sometimes, things just don't work out. We went our separate ways and I hope he's happy. I'm finally beginning to get my life back.

Anyway, this dissertation won't write itself (unfortunately!)

Ciao for now!
x

At A Cross Roads...

So I am now working full time at the hotel, instead of going to university. I am still doing my assignments and the dreaded Dissertation but just not attending lectures.

However, now, people are beginning to ask "what are you going to do after uni"? And my simple answer is I DO NOT KNOW!

I enjoy the job I do at the hotel and while I am leaving York in May (and there is NO way I'm staying), I could theoretically work my way up to manager etc.

However, I like the idea of going into politics and changing things for the better. I enjoy helping people and nothing pleases me more than knowing something good has happened and I've helped it happen.

Or, do I follow the original plan and go into teaching?

At the moment, I'm going to move back to my Mum's and get a place of my own and find myself. I've been single for 4 months nearly and they have been the worst 4 months of my life. I miss my ex so much and to be honest, I do not know if I can be bothered with relationships now. I've seen so many fail in my family and now I just don't know if there's any point to them really.

Anyway, rant over. Ciao!

January Blues...

I have definitely found myself suffering from January blues.

I've struggled to cope with the break up with my long term boyfriend. I have so many questions but as he won't talk to me, I'm not going to get the answers I need. He said we'd stay friends and it would be better than before because there wouldn't be any of the crap that there was when we were together, but that hasn't happened.

I've decided on two universities that I want to apply to for my Masters; Glasgow and London. However, my Mum isn't sure if I'd survive in London. It is far away from "home" and family, and it will be expensive. I'm not sure, I'd prefer to be in Glasgow but then if I'm going into politics, surely London would be better???

In terms of weight loss, it hasn't gone great. I've been comfort eating a lot since the break-up. Now I'm home, I'm on a new diet and exercise regime so hopefully I'll stick to it this time. I just need to be away from York and away from the memories.

Not sure when I'll be returning to York, probably in a week's time but I kind of want to stay for longer. Depends on work and uni and my Mum lol. Part of me wants to quit uni but I know that's not an option. Not if I want to make something of my life. I need to prove myself and if I quit uni with 3 months to go, I'll just be proving some people right.

New Year, New Start.....again

Happy New Year!!!

So new year resolutions?

1). Keep my new year resolutions
2). I WILL lose weight this year!
3). Learn to drive
4). Have fun and live a little


My best friend and myself are planning on going on holiday in about 5 months. I keep saying it but I am going to lose weight for this. I'm going for my first run tomorrow. It should have been today but the New Year family gathering ran longer than I was expecting!

I've really missed my family, I didn't realise how much until I saw them today. I need to come back home more. My youngest niece has only seen me a handful of times and I don't think she's really aware of who I am properly.

So, tomorrow morning I am going to go for a run before I go to my sister's. I'm going to join the gym again hopefully and I've already got a training partner sorted. The same training partner as last time but she's assured me she won't let me quit this time. I'm slightly scared lol!

Its scary to think that so many things are changing this year. I graduate from university which means I have to decide what I'm going to do with my degree (and my life :/ which may take longer!) I'll be getting my own place somewhere, on my own. Something I didn't think would actually happen.

Anyway, I'm currently scanning photos so I'll get back to that!

x

All Good Things Must Come To An End....

So last week my boyfriend and I decided that we should break up. It was completely mutual decision. We've been arguing a lot for a while and we just seem to get on better as friends. We're still going to be good friends and ultimately, this is the best decision.

However, the past 9 days have been the hardest. The combination of losing my long term boyfriend (6 years, 3 months to the day), stress of uni and doing two jobs as well as losing someone who became an amazing friend to me created an emotional wreak.

I went into work and snapped at everyone and if I wasn't snapping, I was crying. I've never gone through a break-up before. He was my only boyfriend and I love him. I always will. People keep telling me that there's plenty more fish in the sea and that I'm only 22 and got my whole life ahead of me. I know its true but that doesn't stop it hurting as much as it does.

I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with him. I wanted to move in with him, get married, have a couple of kids. Yes I am only 22 but that doesn't mean that I can't think about the future. I want to be a mum and I wanted to share that experience with him.

I've stopped crying at the moment, I just seem to be numb. Despite being diabetic, my chocolate consumption has increased slightly. Chocolate is good for break-ups though isn't it??? I have thoughts that just keep circling round my head - was it me? Could I have done more? What's wrong with me? Am I not good enough for him anymore? Has he realised he can do better?

I know its not that but I can't stop thinking it. I need to go home and be with my family. Its times like these that you realise who is really there for you. I have and I won't forget who has supported me. I'm not sure what the future holds at the moment. I'm concentrating on my career - graduate, go and do a Masters, move to Edinburgh or London and go into politics. Yes, that's the plan - watch this space!

Back to My Roots...

So yesterday Mum and I went to a Postgraduate Open Day at Glasgow Uni. I can definitely see me studying there for a year. The uni itself was amazing. It consists of old buildings and despite being in the centre of the city, its quiet and has a relaxed atmosphere. We only stayed half an hour. I asked what masters I should be doing if I want to go into eductional politics (and eventually become Secretary of State for Education fingers crossed) - should it be MSc Educational Studies or a politics based one. They suggested writing to the Government and asking for their opinion. However, I can't see Michael Gove enjoying that letter!

I am also eligible for funding to cover my tuition fees due to being Scottish by 1). birth and 2). descend (my Dad's Scottish) so that made me very very happy!!

Mum shopped till she dropped after that - I was just the bag mule :/

In other news, I've finally heard from the "Gene Therapy" unit. I now have to fill out a huge form giving them every little detail of my life, my Mum's life and every other member of my family's life. Guess I'll need to wait until my Mum's free to finish that one then :/

I'm extremely behind on my uni work so I guess I'd better get back to it :( The problem with having two jobs I guess!

As the Leaves Fall...

Now that it's getting darker at night I have decided to start running again. A good friend of mine has given me plenty of advice and has told me that she'll help me with my snacking issues, all I have to do is text her. She's been losing weight since I've known her and she's done amazingly. She's ran in various long distance runs, including the Great North Run and while I can't see me doing that, I would like to be able to be where she is in terms of weight.

I have also decided to start a food diary, as I think this will help me a bit. Oh, and having breakfast (something I never do!) as it starts your metabolism quicker or something but also I am actually diabetic (only Type 2 mind) and I keep getting lectures from both my doctor and my Mum about breakfast.

So, today I am having a bowl of "Strawberry Crisp" cereal with a cup of coffee. Lunch will be a salad with a bit of dressing on. And finally, tea will be a vegetarian lasagna I have in the freezer from when I used to be veggie.

I've got a cold and a bad chesty cough at the moment so not sure when to start running. I'm at work today so I'll see how I feel after that and my trip to the library to get some work done as I am now into week 7 of uni and I still haven't really done much :/