All Good Things Must Come To An End....

So last week my boyfriend and I decided that we should break up. It was completely mutual decision. We've been arguing a lot for a while and we just seem to get on better as friends. We're still going to be good friends and ultimately, this is the best decision.

However, the past 9 days have been the hardest. The combination of losing my long term boyfriend (6 years, 3 months to the day), stress of uni and doing two jobs as well as losing someone who became an amazing friend to me created an emotional wreak.

I went into work and snapped at everyone and if I wasn't snapping, I was crying. I've never gone through a break-up before. He was my only boyfriend and I love him. I always will. People keep telling me that there's plenty more fish in the sea and that I'm only 22 and got my whole life ahead of me. I know its true but that doesn't stop it hurting as much as it does.

I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with him. I wanted to move in with him, get married, have a couple of kids. Yes I am only 22 but that doesn't mean that I can't think about the future. I want to be a mum and I wanted to share that experience with him.

I've stopped crying at the moment, I just seem to be numb. Despite being diabetic, my chocolate consumption has increased slightly. Chocolate is good for break-ups though isn't it??? I have thoughts that just keep circling round my head - was it me? Could I have done more? What's wrong with me? Am I not good enough for him anymore? Has he realised he can do better?

I know its not that but I can't stop thinking it. I need to go home and be with my family. Its times like these that you realise who is really there for you. I have and I won't forget who has supported me. I'm not sure what the future holds at the moment. I'm concentrating on my career - graduate, go and do a Masters, move to Edinburgh or London and go into politics. Yes, that's the plan - watch this space!